Lainey

Its been one month since our sweet Lainey returned to her Heavenly Father. Last night we recounted some of the sweetest moments, and the hardest moments we had with her. While tears streamed down my face, I told Spencer that I was honored to be her Mom. And he agreed. We feel so blessed to have her part of our Eternal family, to have had her here on this earth for 20 days, and to know that we will see her again.
I read a scripture last night that described our situation perfectly. In Alma 36:3 it says: "...for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day." We didn't verbally say "ok, Heavenly Father, we are turning this situation over to you", we just seemed to do it, together. Meanwhile, Family, friends and our ward family, were all praying for us, for me, and for our baby Lainey. You all will never know how much your prayers and even thoughts helped us. I could not imagine going through this and not having all you and your support and especially the knowledge of our Eternal Family.
And now, the golden question, How are we really doing. We have our moments when the tears seem will never stop, and there are days that Sadie just doesn't get it, "when is Baby Lainey coming home?". But we are comforted in remembering the Plan, the many times that the Spirit comforted us knowing that this was her mission, and many other things that are so sacred to us we just cant put words to them.
When a baby is too little to really smile, but they do, people say its just gas. but us Mothers sometimes know better! Sometimes its not gas at all. Lainey was definitely too small to smile, but she gave us 'moments' when she let us know she knew we were there. And in her own little way, she communicated with us. We will never forget those moments and the moments that the Spirit was there.
A mission is a spiritual high so to speak, that's easy to explain why. But this experience, from the beginning to the end, was a spiritual high as well. During the pregnancy, while explaining the complications to a few friends, I didn't realize at the time, but afterwards learned they could see the severity of the situation and could not believe I was not freaking out.. well, go back to that scripture, we were truly lifted up and supported during this. He really helped us, and that is helping us now as we mourn for our sweet baby.
I know many dont know what to say or what to do. Some of you have been truly inspired and have called, stopped by and even brought me things to help in what has been truly the right moment. And I am TRULY grateful to you. I appreciate the hugs and even the 'I've been thinking about you' comments. Please, dont be afraid to talk to me or call me and please dont be worried about saying the wrong thing. Just being normal helps too!
We are ok, sad, grateful, happy, it all just depends on the day! But we are not bitter, depressed, or angry. We were truly blessed in this experience and we are not going to choose not to recognize that.
We love you all. Thank you.

Atrial Septal Defect AKA Hole in the heart

I've decided that everyone in my little family (except for me!) has wanted to "Stand Out" in one way or another. First was Sadie and her head, then Spencer and his neck, and now Hope and her heart! (Makes me wonder what Baby #3 will bring (and NO this is NOT an announcement, just wondering!)). Hope has had a heart murmur since her 2 week check up. Unfortunately, it has gradually gotten louder. And last week at her 6 month appointment her Dr said it was time to go see a Cardiologist.
So on Monday we went to the new Riverton Hospital, Primary Children's Out Patient clinic (YEAH we didn't have to drive clear downtown!). There after an EKG and an extensive Ultra Sound, she was diagnosed with Atrial Septal Defect... or Hole in the Heart. Long story short, all babies in womb have this hole, but upon being born or shortly before or after, it closes. Well Hope's didn't, not even a little bit! As the Dr put it, its a "Generous" hole!!! Good news is, it is NOT causing her problems now. Her heart is working harder than it should, but because she isn't super active, she isn't having any problems.
We will go back in 6 months and they will do an XRay, and unless she starts having problems, they wont do anything until she is 4 years old. At that time, depending on the status of the hole, they will do one of two procedures. One simple one, and one that involves stopping the heart, putting her on Bypass and building a wall.. We pray for the simple one, or none at all!!

Now with that said! Hope is STINKING cute!! She loves her big sister and does her big sister loves her. They sit across from each other smiling and talking to each other. Wish I could understand them! She is sitting up (of course with a pillow behind her, but she's getting it)!

Sadie is such a great big sister, she is always willing to help out and play with her sister. I thinks she likes her more that she is a little more interactive!

Spencer and I are doing well. We cant believe it has been almost 5 years since we were married. We are hoping that come our 5Th anniversary we will be able to afford a much needed weekend getaway! We also cant believe we have lived in this house for almost 4 years. Sadly, but gladly we are growing out of this house much quicker than we anticipated! Oh well. The more the merrier right!

Love to all!!

Raccoons and FireFighting

My dear sister Kristin asked me to re invite her to my blog. As I was about to do that, I realized my last post was September 16th... so i thought I should update before so that she has something to read! So Kristin this is for you!! (And any others who are interested)!

Since Sadie's surgery she has been awesome. No problems with the shunt and we are nearing the one year mark and are hoping to stay in the 40% group that has NO shunt failures the first year. She has a follow up appointment with the Plastic Surgeon to discuss her head shape. Until Hope was born i didn't really realize how different her head is. But we will see what the Dr says. If he leaves it up to us it might be a hard decision. I don't want her to go through another surgery but I also don't want her to ask me when she is 16 why we didn't do another one. Really we are just praying she will grow into it or it will even itself out. Either way, she is still Sadie and still stinking cute!
On December 6th, Hope Marie was born. She is now 5 1/2 months old and is fun to have around. Sadie adores her and vise versa. Hope can laugh at Sadie all day even when Sadie is doing nothing but eating or sitting there.
Spencer recently took an EMT class in preparation for taking the Firefighter test, with hopes of getting hired as a firefighter. He passed the EMT certification. He got an 88% on the fire test, but the cutoff was 91%. So he wont be moving on to the next series of tests. We are a little bummed but there is always next time...2012!

I recently started babysitting two little boys two days a week. A 9 month old and a 3 month old. On the day I have them both, it makes life interesting!! But I feel good being able to make a little mula that covers my food budget.

Spencer's business is still getting good jobs. Unfortunately they are still paying off the material bills from unpaid jobs from 2008. But they are close to being done. Its been a struggle and something I wish upon no one. but many lessons have been learned and we will emerge from this 'chapter' of our lives a little stronger in just about ever aspect of our life.

and for two short days, Spencer considered raising a baby raccoon that he removed from Dan's rental house chimney. Unfortunately the thing was WAY too high maintenance for me to even consider keeping. Luckily for the 3 raccoons, the neighbor called and rescued them from an early death. They currently reside with our neighbor, Pinky and Sue, who have in the past raised raccoons!

Sadie's Surgery

After another 4 hours at Primary Children's Hospital and another CT scan, Sadie's Dr confirmed she has Hydrocephalus and will need to have a shunt put in her head to drain the extra fluid.
They had us tentativly on their schedule tomorrow. We could have rescheduled but this has drawn on long enough and since her 1st birthday is on Tuesday we decided to get it over with so she could start her 2nd year of life off much better!
The surgery is only and hour so she should be done about 9am. But they will keep her overnight.
The Dr explained recovery as an exagerated bump on the head. In a few days she should be great.
We are glad they "unkown" period is over and are excited to have the next two days over with as well.
Other than that, Spencer's neck surgery went well. His three week check up was on Monday and the Dr said he is the fastest healing person he knows and gave him the go ahead to go hunting next week!
The other little person we are awaiting is doing great. Im roughly 6 months pregnant. Its been breeze so far! Which has been a blessing since Spencer and Sadie are keeping things exciting around here, we forget sometimes that I am even pregant...other than the fact that my stomach is getting big!
Thanks for all the love and support!
More to come from the exciting lives of the Stevens fam!

Update

Time is flying by. It seems like just yesterday Sadie got fitted for her helmet. And I would like to say she is done but unfortunatly we might not be quite done, though Im slacking drastically in making her wear it. Call me a bad mom, but sheesh you would too if you saw her sweating! Next week we have a follow up appointment with a different plastic surgeon (since hers moved to Arizona) per her pediatrician's request. He is concerned that her head is so big... well sorry but her Mom has a big one too! She is still ranging in the over 100 percential for her head size. If there is a problem he thinks it just fluid which is easily drained and not a serious problem. So promptly I scheduled the appt with the Dr.

Adding to my Dr appointments, Spencer thought he would join the fun but getting bucked off a mustang 3 times. The third time was the charm! He has always had a small problem with his neck if he twisted it just right but the third buck landed him some more problems. Just a torn disc and a herniated disc! So after meeting with nuerosurgeon last week who says surgery to fix the torn disc is the only was to go. And sooner the better since the two discs are smashing a nerve that runs down his left arm causing it to loose strength. No good since he is left handed. So next week I will be scheduling a few more Dr appts for him to get some second opinions!

Oh and I cant leave myself out of the fun! For those who dont know, Im PREGNANT! This no joke! Im currently 18 weeks along and expecting a girl! Yahoo! She is due December 10th making her and Sadie 14 short months apart! We are excited. But I am not longer teasing Spencer about being cursed with all girls since 2 out of 2 are now girls!! But he is excited and even came home one day with a name for this one and a girl name for our 3rd girl! But I can definetly say the 3rd one wont come as quickly as far as I have anything to do with it.

pictures include Sadie's first swim in her little pool, clapping hands, our first family picture since Sadie was born, the March of Dimes walk and Sadie's first chocolate chip cookie.

Sadies New Head Gear

On Friday, Sadie received her helmet! Once its on, she hardly notices it. Now, getting it on is another story! So just be lucky you aren't the bad guy!!! But I have hope we will get it down to an art before the few months is up. We will see the plastic surgeon in 6 weeks and in only 2 weeks we will go back to the helmet place so they can make any changes to the helmet that may be needed. So I guess they are expecting quick results. Sadie also had her first trip out to meet Dutch... and also had a friend over, Aslyn (Christa & Trevor Jensen's little girl)

Sadie's first Trip Outside!

Spring is Coming!!! Or atleast Mother Nature is tricking us with a few Spring days! Oh well, I'll take 'em! Yesterday Sadie and I ventured outside for a few minutes. Of course the only hat that fit her is one a bought in preparation for when she is 12-18 months!!! She also has moved up in the world to a high chair for eating her delious rice cereal! YUM!

She is doing great! She had a follow up with the Plastic Surgeon last week and he said she will need to wear a helmet for about 2 months. We went in for her first measurements. They just measured her head, took a few pics and now we wait for insurance approval. Then we will go back for them to make a cast mold of her head (that should be interesting!). Then it will be a week until its made. So some more fun pics to follow!!!